Category Archives: Scoiliosis

Trump the Bad Neighbor and Fighting His Lies

Allow me to present a metaphor that I feel may help explain the way I look at the situation Americans currently face in a Trump Administration that lies more often, more frequently, and about more things than any Administration in US history.

You leave your house and walk down your driveway where your neighbor stops you and begins to talk. He tells you that the tree in your yard is not really a tree, but is actually a crashed alien escape pod that will open any day to reveal alien monsters who will kill and eat your family. You calmly point out that this is not true. You walk him over to the tree and inspect it with him. You show him pictures of other trees of the same species and type, and present detailed facts to prove that, it is indeed a tree. Your neighbor is not very convinced, and walks away. The next day, your neighbor is back, and he again says that the tree is a crashed alien escape pod. You are puzzled and exasperated, and while you don’t have the same enthusiasm, you again walk him through the overwhelming evidence that yes, it is just a tree. Your neighbor presents you with information that describes why your evidence doesn’t convince him. Your neighbor angrily stomps off, while you sigh and go to work; while at work, you read the information he presented you with and find that it is nonsensical ramblings that might even make you laugh if you did not know how serious your neighbor took it, or hear the echoes of fear-driven hatred and violence behind it.

The next day your neighbor’s back at the foot of your driveway. He again says that your tree is a crashed alien escape pod that will open any day to reveal alien monsters who will kill and eat your family. You are annoyed, and explain to him that the arguments he shared with you have no basis in fact and you feel he should discard them. He says that you are either a naïve tool who cannot detect that you are being lied to and hypnotized by some vague frightening entity (maybe it is a world-wide conspiracy, maybe it is ‘the media,’ maybe it is scientists, maybe it is minorities, maybe it is ‘elitists.’) or that you are actively in on ‘it,’ and you’re simply a liar. This is too much for you after the last few days; you explode and tell him off for being a hateful, stupid, disgusting bigot. He then smiles in triumph, “That’s how it is with you and people like you: you don’t have facts on your side, so you simply call me a racist or a bigot. You can’t beat me by argument, you sink to attacking me!” The debate you had been having has now become about name-calling and whether or not you crossed the line, and your initial point about your neighbor’s conspiratorial paranoia has been obscured; your neighbor leave and you head to work fuming and at the end of your patience with this person.

The next day, your neighbor is back at the foot of your driveway and ready to resume the fight, but you have no more stomach for this debate; you know that nothing you will say can possibly convince him, and that you will likely wind up screaming at him again, and that you’ll get nowhere. “Whatever,” you say, “Just leave me the hell alone,” and you go off to work. You don’t want to keep having these confrontations because they are negatively impacting your quality of life: you are angry and stressed all the time and you dread simply walking to the edge of your driveway because you expect that if you do, you’ll wind up in an endless, un-winnable argument. You become withdrawn and you cede more and more ground to your neighbor because you don’t want to have constant fights about what you consider to be simple good sense and objective reality. You and your neighbor were actually friends before he began spouting nonsensical lies, and you enjoyed talking about sports, movies, and pop culture, and you both genuinely care for each other’s families. Now you don’t even want to be in your yard if he’s outside because you don’t want to be around him; there are no more ‘safe’ topics because your neighbor thinks that you are stupid, naïve, and blind to reality while you think that he is being dangerously misled, believes in crackpot conspiracy theories, and that he has become a mean bully. You feel that the less you see him and have to deal with him, the better.

Other neighbors who are your friends and know that your tree is just a tree are puzzled because they no longer see you standing up for what they know is common sense and sanity. They know your tree is a tree, but now that you’ve ceded the argument to your neighbor, they’re not going to contradict your neighbor either. Your neighbor has convinced almost no one, but he has succeeded in muddying the water in the eyes of many in the neighborhood. People still don’t believe your neighbor when he comes out a few days later and tells the person who lives across-the-street that her swimming pool is filled with water poisoned by the government to turn swimmers homosexual, but you have already decided to stay away from your neighbor, and each day and with each ridiculous new assertion, fewer people are fighting back even against things that they know are demonstrably untrue. Objective reality in the neighborhood is no longer agreed upon, and people start to avoid one another because it is as if the neighborhood has been littered with invisible landmines, that will explode if someone walks over them. The neighborhood is now less safe, less civil, less sane, less kind, and tension is lurking everywhere, as people struggle daily in a figurative fight to keep from having a literal fight.

Forgive me for perhaps stretching this metaphor a bit far, but if Donald Trump is our bad neighbor, how do we fix that situation? How do we save our own national neighborhood from his lies and his hate? How do we stand up for objective reality, and build a safer, happier place for ourselves, our children, and their children?

Donald Trump has been president for just over three weeks, but he has already bombarded the nation with an avalanche of dishonesty and disinformation so thick and powerful that he has actually weakened the idea of objective reality! Even for someone such as myself who always looks to history for precedent to make sense of current events, Trump is moving in a direction that is unprecedented in our nation’s history. His assault on the truth and reality itself has grown out of a massive explosion of hyper-polarization unlike anything the nation has seen since directly before the American Civil War. Until relatively recently Republicans and Democrats agreed on many issues but disagreed and debated the ways to deal with those issues, but that all changed during the Barack Obama Administration. Under President Obama the two Parties no longer debated about what was the best plan to deal with problems like how to fix our health care system, our immigration system, or to counter global warming, instead Democrats continued to propose solutions to what they believed were serious problems, while Republicans offered no competing proposal because they denied that there was anything wrong with health care and immigration in the first place, and they claimed that global warming was a hoax. Conservatism and Republicanism became defined not by adherence to an ideology – not even to the old ‘small government,’ orthodoxy that was at the heart of Republicanism from 1980 to 2008 – but by opposition to President Obama and the Democratic Party.

The new Grand Old Party’s disdain for President Obama led to an atmosphere where literally nothing the President said or did – not even the legitimacy of the President himself – would be accepted at face value. This was seen in a Republican Party that refused to believe falling unemployment numbers in 2012 because those numbers were bad for Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney’s campaign, refused to believe numbers that violent crime was down, refused to give any credit to Barack Obama for approving the operation that resulted in the death of Osama bin Laden, and refused to believe that neither the President nor Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was not personally to blame over the terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya in 2012 that resulted in the death of 4 Americans. Republicans were so certain that Obama or Clinton did something wrong in Benghazi that they conducted 7-tax-payer-funded investigations into the event that cleared both President Obama and Secretary Clinton; when the GOP disliked that result, they refused to believe the findings of their own Congressional investigations.

But the real seed of the legendarily dishonest Trump Administration was in the racist ‘Birther’ lie that held that Barack Obama was not really the president of the United States because he was not born in Hawaii, in the USA, but in Kenya. While much of ‘Establishment’ Republicans, from Speaker of the House John Boehner to Mitt Romney and Republican 2008 presidential nominee John McCain loudly distanced themselves from the myth, a large part of the Republican and Conservative base refused to believe that Barack Obama was the legitimate president of the USA. One of the public faces of this racist lie was Donald Trump, who flirted with a presidential campaign in 2011-12 based almost entirely on the issue of ‘Birtherism.’ Trump publicly proclaimed that Obama was not born in Hawaii and that he had hired a team of investigators that was producing irrefutable evidence that Barack Obama was not an American. President Obama believed that he had successfully answered this nonsensical claim in 2008, and reluctantly released his ‘long form,’ birth certificate in 2011 to shut down the myth for good. Trump’s burgeoning campaign fell apart when his lie was exposed, but he never admitted that he had lied and that he was wrong. It was the first of the many lies of Donald Trump the politician, which have included lying about personally witnessing ‘thousands’ of Muslims celebrate the 9/11/2001 terror attacks, lying about why he would not release his tax returns, lying about his admission that the Birther Lie was a lie, lying about having publicly come out against the Iraq War, lying about his business career, and on and on and on.

Of course, President and President-Elect Trump did not abandon his lies when he won the election last November. Trump lost the popular vote to Hillary Clinton by 3 million votes, 66 million to 63 million, Trump is unable to accept that he received 3 million fewer votes than Clinton, so he lied (and continues to lie) that he actually won the popular vote because ‘3-5’ million people voted ‘illegally.’ He lied about the crowd at his inauguration and the weather that day; he lied about stepping down as the head of the Trump Organization and putting his assets in a blind trust. He lied that he would release his tax returns after the election, and that Mexico would pay for the wall. He has lied about his Muslim travel-ban. Donald Trump now represents the United States of America both at home and abroad, and not even a month into his Presidency there appears nothing too big or too small for him to lie about. It can be overwhelming to try to contend with an Administration that is spreading new falsehoods every day. Trump is using the strategy of the bad neighbor in the metaphor above: muddying the water around every single issue and challenging the validity of everything that he dislikes or disagrees with. This is so that the resistance to his authoritarian regime is disorganized and divided, and so that each group or individual trying to sift through the river of bullshit that Trump’s Administration spews 24 hours a day, 7 days a week cannot possibly keep up. Trying to address single lies, whether the biggest or the smallest, means that some are getting through every day because it just isn’t possible for any one person to stop them all.

But there is hope for those who will fight for truth and objective fact – there is a way forward. We have tools that the victims of past authoritarian regimes did not possess, and thanks to the Internet, we are more connected than ever before. If we work together we can stand against hatred, ignorance, dishonesty, fear mongering, cowardice, greed, and short-sightedness. Just because the task before us is difficult, and the way is unclear does not mean we will fail. The first thing we have to do is organize ourselves. It is almost impossible for one person, regardless of his or her intellect, to combat every one of Trump’s lies, so what we need to do is work together and organize strike teams. One team can fight his lies about the popular vote and push back his naked attempt at voter disenfranchisement; another team can fight back on lies about crime and criminal justice reform; another can work on his lies about immigration and anti-Muslim lies; another on digging up his tax returns and keeping track of his ties to foreign governments. Maybe we can’t fight Trump’s lies as individuals, but we have the advantage if we can organize together.

Besides mobilizing together, there are some other things that we can do that will help us save our democratic republic from an authoritarian coup.

1.) No matter how warranted it may be, we must never shout names and allow Trump and his lying followers to try to get us to act out, because the facts, evidence, and morality are all on our side. We should say ‘here’s proof that Trump lied’ to Trump’s followers instead of saying, ‘Trump and his orders are racist and stupid, so you are racist and stupid too!’ which will just lead to the old Conservative standby of ‘you called me a racist! That is just what Liberals do when they can’t win an argument!’ Fighting even the most egregious lies or hate speech by attacking someone who believes the lies will get us nowhere, since it will turn the debate into an argument about racism itself, leaving the initial topic completely forgotten in the dirt. You are now arguing about insults and not about Trump or his actions.

2.) Don’t take the bait if/when a Trump supporter says that you are biased and that you believe that President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, or some other Democrat or Liberal was/is perfect. This is another trick, and the Trump supporter is trying to bait you into listing your own (likely legitimate and fact-based) reservations about a Liberal politician, and whether it be Obama, Sanders, or anyone else, the topic will no longer be what Trump has done or said and why it is wrong; it is now about the flaws of Obama/Bernie/whomever. And if you think that the Trump supporter is reasonable and he/she will then say, ‘Well, I have reservations about Trump, too, and here they are,’ then you’re likely going to be disappointed with the result. You are now arguing about Obama/Bernie/a Liberal politician and not about Trump or his actions.

3.) We cannot have any more arguments about hypocrisy or alternate realities where we say things like ‘If Obama was as cozy with Russia, as Trump is, the Republicans in Congress would move to impeach him,’ because they don’t matter. Many of the biggest Trump supporters and Trump himself are hypocrites – in one of the alternate scenarios we should cease to use going forward, try to imagine Trump and his supporters’s reactions if Hillary Clinton had been the one who received 3 million fewer votes than Trump did, yet she won by the exact same numbers in the Electoral College – but it doesn’t matter. How the Republicans may have reacted to Obama or to Hillary doesn’t change the fact that now Trump and the GOP hold the power, and many of the highest-ranking Republicans, like Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (as seen in his recent comments about how shocked and upset he is about Democratic obstruction in the Senate of late), either have a complete and total lack of self-awareness or have no shame or integrity. McConnell in particular is responsible for creating a new Senate operating procedure where the Senate Majority Party will no longer allow the president who is of the opposing Party to fulfill his/her Constitutional duty to appoint Justices to the Supreme Court. The new reality apparently is that Democratic presidents will be denied that duty if the Republicans hold the Senate and if he/she does not nominate the identical person that a Republican president would nominate. McConnell has done unprecedented and as yet unquantifiable damage to the Judicial Branch of government and in particular to the highest court in the land, and we’ll have to wait and see if that damage is fatal or not to the Judicial Branch as it currently exists. The point, however, is that the fact that McConnell is a hypocrite is not important right now, all that is important is stopping him and Donald Trump from stealing our democracy out from under us.

4.) No lie, no matter how big or small, can go unchallenged. We need to be organized well enough that we have people able to respond to any and all lies – if Donald Trump says it is 68 degrees outside and it is really 66, we need to counter it and share the truth.

5.) No more politeness. We must follow rule one and never engage in ad hominem attacks (no matter how justified we may be), but it is vital that we stand up and argue for what we believe in. We need to publicly respond to every Trump lie, but we also need to call out lies in our own lives, too. If a friend says that Trump actually won the popular vote, explain why that is untrue and wrong. If you hear a total stranger in the supermarket say that Barack Obama is a Muslim from Kenya, do not let it go unchallenged. Pointing out the lies of strangers is both uncomfortable and impolite, but we need to fight for the truth and for objective reality. I have always hated the phrase ‘history is written by the victor,’ because the Confederacy lost the Civil War but, after the period of Reconstruction ended in 1876, the North stood aside even as the South taught its students the ‘Lost Cause’ Mythology that lied about the War and its causes and helped perpetuate Jim Crow segregation for almost another century. We cannot allow history to be written by the person who yells the loudest simply because we find it too inconvenient to argue even when we know we are right.

6.) We must seek the acceptance of potential moderate Republicans who either did not vote for Trump or who voted for him just because he was not Hillary Clinton. The idea that moderate Republicans are going to support Democratic candidates or Liberal policies/ideas is unrealistic, but only the most committed Trump supporters believe in his core lies, like that 3-5 million people did vote illegally and that Trump is the true winner of the popular vote. Only the most committed Trump supporters agree with every word of Trump’s Executive Order on immigration. To protect the very idea of objective reality and honest governance, we are going to have to work alongside people who we disagree with on about 7 issues in 10, and even though we fought against them in November and will fight against them tomorrow to defend Medicare and Social Security, right now the overriding concern must be the marginalization and removal from power of a regime that does not view George Orwell’s masterpiece Nineteen Eighty-Four as a cautionary tale of the nightmare of unchecked authoritarianism, but as a blueprint from which to operate. We will never give up our desire to expand Medicare, achieve single-payer health care for all Americans, and fighting for a more Progressive, open, free, and inclusive society, but right now the most important battle is the one against a Trump White House that says 2 + 2 = 5.

I may come off as preachy or hyperbolic, but I assure you that I am sincere and I believe this is an incredibly important moment for the state of California, the nation, and even the world, and it is not the time to do nothing. Fortunately I am not the only one who has been motivated to act, and I have been humbled to watch and work alongside some of the most capable, empathetic, intelligent, generous, hard-working, dedicated, tireless, and just all-around incredible people that I have ever met or hope to meet. I am inspired every time I see the level of commitment from these people, the vast majority of whom are unpaid volunteers, and who have jobs and families, yet somehow find spare time that they use to fight to make the lives of others better. The majority of people in just my town, let alone the county, city, state, or nation will probably never know the sacrifices that are made every single day in their names.

Whether in my metaphorical neighborhood or in the real world, by encouraging people to stand up to this government, I know that I am asking them to take on potential risks in their personal and professional lives, and even asking people to do very uncomfortable or unnatural things like arguing with strangers if we hear them spreading lies. However, I vow to you that I will never, suggest that other people should risk anything if I am not also willing to pay the same price myself. I was born with the joint disease Arthrogryposis (which is coincidentally the New York Times reporter Serge Kovaleski was mocked by Trump for having in December 2015), having in December 2015) and the spinal condition Scoliosis, and I have had several major spinal surgeries and spinal fusions throughout my life. I have not spent even one solid hour out of intense back pain since September 1998, and as such I must always weigh the impact any particular action might have on my back, but I will endure extreme agony to fight for our nation, for the truth, and for freedom. My most recent surgery took place during Barack Obama’s campaign for the Presidency in 2008, and I did phone banking for the then-Senator from my hospital bed. I am ready and willing to pay this price, and I hope many are willing to join me in this uncomfortable, inconvenient cause. And know that I will gladly stand and march and fight even for those who will do the same against me, and I’ll endure days of recovery time and of bitter pain for you, too. This is about more than Republicans and Democrats, and more than Right and Left. This is about right and wrong, and if you choose to defend and propagate lies and tyranny, history will not look at you very kindly, and if I live long enough, I’ll be the one to write it down so our children and their children will mark down those who stay seated and silent alongside those who fought to propagate dishonesty, corruption, and meanness, and not with those who stood against an autocrat and risked the consequences.

Things We Are Not Supposed to Say #2

“I need some help.”

It seems simple enough to ask for help, but it is a very hard thing to do (and to clarify, I’m not talking about anyone seeking help for addiction or other things like it – I’m speaking of financial assistance). We are encouraged in America to ‘pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps’ and in movies, books, and television we see character after character defiantly turn help away, always loudly proclaiming, “I don’t need your charity!” Why is it so hard to ask for help? Maybe it’s because, at least here in the United States of America, weakness and vulnerability are held in disdain. Asking for help is construed as a failure of the person in need of aid, and society roundly mocks those who require welfare or food stamps or unemployment insurance, or pretty much any kind of help at all from the government. In far too many cases we portray those who accept such assistance as lazy failures who have made a choice not to work out of a desire to be taken care of by more deserving ‘hard working’ people. A powerful stigma has been attached to governmental assistance and I know of many instances where people who were rightfully entitled to and in desperate need of such help have refused to accept it in order to avoid the negative associations with even needing such help to begin with, let alone taking it. I know this because I am one of those people.

On September 18th, 1998, I felt a sharp pain in my lower back as I rose to leave my first period class. I was born with Scoliosis and had a major surgery when I was 3-years-old, but in the 10-years after that surgery I had never had back pain of any kind; since that September 18th, I have never spent a single day out of intense back pain, and all of those days without hurting have long since faded from memory, and now seem like a dream of someone else’s life. The constant pain I deal with has put me in a situation where doing even the slightest bit of physical work is almost impossible. I can’t stand for very long, and while I can sit for a longer period of time, even that will hurt before too much time has passed. Walking or running hurts because my many spinal surgeries have left me with a fused spine and without the natural shock absorption that is a normal feature of the backs of most human beings. I am forced to take large quantities of powerful medications to deal with my suffering which makes many jobs impossible and makes driving even short distances something I must plan hours in advance to be sure my head is clear. I am in pain when I close my eyes to sleep at night, and again when I open them in the morning. It is my constant companion, and judging from the fact that most people develop back pain as they age, I’m not expecting it to get any better as I get older.

Because of my disability, I am eligible for many kinds of governmental assistance. While I enjoy the benefits of having Medicare, I have never accepted certain other things that I’m eligible to receive; I have not and cannot foresee accepting food stamps and welfare due both to the stigma attached to such things and my own foolish pride. I live a Spartan existence on the meager amount of disability money I get from the government while I simultaneously look for a job that will allow me to take advantage of my intelligence and my specific abilities, but it is hard to tell potential employers right off the bat that there are things one cannot do. I don’t even like to accept help when moving a heavy box; I refuse help and try to do it myself. Afterwards I’m either forced to admit defeat and accept the assistance I had refused before, or I manage to do the job myself and then spend the rest of the day – and sometimes more than one – dealing with the ramifications of my foolish decision.

I almost don’t know why I bring this up because I don’t expect to start seeking out or accepting aid tomorrow or any day soon. I have seen this strain of stubbornness in others both within and outside of my family, and have seen it lead to death too. I honestly believe that my grandfather’s death last year was in large part due to his refusal to accept the offer of my Aunt to move in with her both during and after Super storm Sandy hit New York and flooded his house in October of 2012. He finally took her offer after about a week of staying there freezing in his home and being forced – along with my step-grandmother, who had bad lungs for most of her life – to breathe in the mold of the rotting walls and hardwood floors. Just under a year later my step-grandmother Renee was dead, and my grandfather died two months after her. It should be a flashing neon light warning me of what can happen when one puts stubbornness and foolish pride ahead of necessity, and yet I have not changed my ways and I keep trying to deal with my disability the same way I have for years, keeping my head barely above the crashing waves while I refuse to accept the aid of the nearby rescue boats.

Asking for help is not easy and accepting it even less so. As a society we need to do a better job of teaching our children that it is OK to admit weakness and that requiring help is not some kind of moral failure. I hope we can pass this lesson on to future generations and remove the stigma of seeking help. And I hope that I too learn the lesson before I pass a point of no return, because over 16-years of near constant agony hasn’t been enough to convince me